“Harry is spent.
The crowd is destroying its throats calling Harry’s name.
Harry feels right with himself.
He’s down there, a new God who has found his calling.
He holds up the Snitch and bellows ‘I am a beautiful animal! I am a destroyer of worlds! I am Harry f***ing Potter!’ And, dear reader, at last, the world was quiet.”The above passage comes from “Wizard People, Dear Reader,” an unauthorized, parodic “book on tape” version of the movie “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone,” written and performed by comedian Brad Neely.
The passage comes at the end of a match of Quidditch (which Neely mistakenly called Cribbage), a sport in Harry Potter’s wizarding world that is, essentially, a midair version of rugby, played while riding flying broomsticks.
Neely exaggerates the epic moment from “Sorcerer’s Stone,” of course, but in 2001, when Chris Columbus’ film first came out, audiences…
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